Scared of My Own Potential

For years, I mistook motion for achievement. I checked boxes and maintained an image of confidence, but I knew I was holding back.

I accomplished things that looked impressive to others, but to me, they felt superficial. I was skimming the surface of my capability. I was afraid of my own potential, my own capabilities. My fear wasn’t of the potential itself, but of the inescapable change that came with it. When I embraced my true power, I would take myself out of my comfort zone and drastically alter my surroundings, and therefore, I would upset a lot of people. So, the idea seemed risky.

Socially accepted behavior is to “play small.” By doing so, you can keep the peace, keep everyone comfortable (including yourself), and everything stays the same. When you grow, you create a new set of issues. People around you do not always appreciate your progress. Many people feel insecure; some will attempt to bring you back down to their level, some will turn away from you, and your entire inner self must adjust and adapt. So, it is easier to remain inside the box.

We romanticise the ‘visionary’ or the ‘black sheep,‘ but the reality is isolating. Being someone who has different thoughts and ideas from the rest of society can be extremely difficult for individuals. Living as someone who is always striving for more in life isn’t easy either. A common theme among those who describe themselves as a “black sheep” or “visionary” is that they break away from the traditional views that have been imposed upon them and embrace their true potential. One of the downsides to this acceptance is that many people will not understand, support, or follow you.

For years, I pretended not to care. I told myself I was building courage, that my time would come. However, I have come to realize that my fear of the unknown that comes with having to change and also the restructuring that was needed, has been the reason for my reluctance to fully embrace my potential and “fly low to the ground”.

Everything Became Clear…I remember a specific group conversation. The group was discussing a few topics and judgmental opinions. Because the majority of the people were talking about things that they really didn’t have a clear understanding of, they endeavoured to impress one another with how much they thought they knew about the topics of conversation. Their facts were not that accurate, and no one appeared to be listening. However, their level of assurance in their statements was very strong. I made the decision to mention one or two small corrections, with gentle wording, because I could plainly see that the objective facts were incorrect. However, when I made corrections, the atmosphere felt entirely different. The expressions on people’s faces became tight, and everyone began to feel defensive. I felt like the “bad” guy all of a sudden. This is the moment I learned a very important thing about myself. I was not in the right environment to showcase my abilities. The people around me weren’t bad people; they simply weren’t my tribe. My true tribe would value new perspectives, not feel threatened by them. The problem for me was that I had been shrinking myself for their comfort. I was dropping my standards for their comfort.

I was like a highly valuable piece of precious metal covered in mud, and therefore, there was no way for anyone to see or respect the value that I possess. Gold requires a clean, proper environment to shine. If you take it to a jewellery store, everything will change. You will see its beauty and its worth because it will be cared for, protected and placed in its appropriate environment.

I saw the same pattern in my professional life: I was gold, consistently choosing to roll in the dirt.

The impact…The damage that not taking advantage of your full potential has on you can’t be measured. I was suffering from the constant tension between who I was and who I knew I could become. That is a constant source of anxiety in your life every day. You ultimately come to realize that the only way forward is to fully embrace your true self and begin living your life accordingly. As you begin to live your life at your true potential, you’ll need to let go of certain relationships, as well as many of the collaborations that you currently have, lose many of your habits (the ones that won’t support you going forward), have your comfort zone broken open, and have your personal identity change. When you start to embrace your true potential, you’ll need to work smarter (not necessarily harder), think strategically, put yourself into different positions of power, find better people to hire, form better partnerships, and create better opportunities that align with your true self.

Change is not optional. It is the price of growth.

Stepping into my potential, bit by bit…I didn’t transform overnight. No one does. I started small. I became honest with myself. I stopped apologizing for wanting more. I stepped out of rooms where I had to shrink. I accepted that standing out is not a shameful thing. I let people leave if they couldn’t grow with me.

Piece by piece, I started playing at my real level.

And as scary as it was, it brought clarity. It brought better collaborators. Better opportunities. Better ideas. A better version of me.

When you are struggling with your potential, as well as others, don’t think you’re the only one because everyone else has to let go of something when they want to improve or go beyond their current state. To grow from your current position requires you to step out of your comfort zone in some form. You, as well as others before you, must confront your fear of your limitations and challenge yourself to become someone you haven’t experienced before. Ask Yourself:

– Why am I stuck and unable to get out of this zone I am in?

– Am I a gold nugget buried in a pile of dirt, or am I a gold nugget in a place where I can shine?

Only you will know this answer. Questioning yourself is the first step on a path that will lead you to a self you don’t yet recognize.

You will be the one making the change if you decide to grow through improvement and use what you already have. If you have the desire to grow, have faith in your instincts.

If you feel uncomfortable about taking that leap of faith, your discomfort will guide you. Fear is nothing more than an indicator that you are preparing to venture out into an even larger world of opportunities.

Your potential is not the enemy. Your comfort zone is.

Zalaxmi,

By Valentina C.